Into Darkness Shall I Fall
Part 1 - Silence
by Meimi

_____________________________________________________________________

Standard disclaimers apply.

SPOILER WARNING: Spoilers for 02 (that's season 2 for the uninitiated) up to and including the episodes involving the first appearance of the Crest of Kindness.

SHONEN AI WARNING: This is a shonen ai fic and contains within it romantic themes and hints of an intimate relationship between two male characters. If this disturbs you in any way PLEASE do not continue reading. And yes, I am sick and twisted, thanks for asking.

DEDICATION: For Ajora, my constant inspiration in Digimon fanfiction and *cough* other things. ^_~

What Has Gone Before: Okay, you're really going to want to read the previous parts in this series: What You Want, The Words Left Unsaid, Peer Pressure, A Haunting Revelation and Kindness Won't Get You Anywhere. In that order. Otherwise, most of this fic won't make much sense. ^_^

_____________________________________________________________________

There was something to be said about the difficulty of hiding something from your parents, especially parents who took great pleasure in hovering over their baby. This was hindered further by the fact that what he was trying to hide happened to be a somewhat obnoxious flying ferret. A flying ferret who could turn into an S&M queen in the blink of an eye and who was developing a finicky taste for sweets. In fact, he had just gotten back from an unplanned trip to the local convenience store to feed that particular taste for sweets. And now, bliss. She was pleased with what he had picked up and he could finally get back to cleaning out all the unnecessary programs on his computer. Well, that had been the plan.

Ken blinked blankly, his eyes no longer focusing on the screen he had been staring at for a good portion of the afternoon. His fingers were frozen above the keyboard they had been typing on a moment before. "I don't think I heard that correctly," he said absently, turning his head so that he could gaze up at the little digimon perched up on the railing for his bed.

Koimon's ruby eyes gleamed in curiosity as she tilted her head to the side and asked again, "What do humans dream about?"

"Wha~?" Ken trailed off as his mind started processing the question. He let his arms fall leadenly onto his lap as he turned fully to face her. Where was this coming from? "What humans dream about," he started off, not really sure of how to answer the question but trying anyway, "We dream about a lot of things. Things that make us happy. Things that make us sad. Things that frighten us. Things from our past. There really is no rhyme or reason to dreaming actually. And everyone dreams about different things at different times. Why do you ask?"

Ignoring his question, she flapped off of the bed and down onto the computer desk. Ken watched silently as she padded behind the monitor and peeked back around at him. "What do you dream about?" she asked at last.

"Me?" Ken grimaced and looked down at his hands. The fabric of his pants crinkled as he curled his fingers up into tight fists. His dreams weren't something he liked to think about, much less acknowledge. "I can't really remember them," he answered vaguely.

"Now you're lying," Koimon hissed before hopping up on top of the computer monitor. "You remember enough to wake up looking as if you were being chased by the Dark Masters themselves. So what are you dreaming about?" Impatiently awaiting his answer, she settled back on her haunches and glared down at him.

Ken met her heated gaze with narrowed eyes. He didn't have to put up with this. He shouldn't have to put up with this. But the anger he felt at her prying didn't last very long. It was fast and fiery and gone within the span of a second. It was too much trouble to be angry about anything anymore. Sighing, he closed his eyes and tried to explain, "I'm not sure. For the most part, I forget the majority of it. Sometimes it's about the recent past, the parts that I can remember. Sometimes it's about the beach. Sometimes it's about what could happen in the future. But the rest just isn't there when I wake up. They only leave behind wisps of terror, hopelessness~"

She hummed quietly as she gave him a calculating look. Ruffling her feathers, she exhaled in what sounded like a sigh and said, "Maybe it's a good thing you're friends with the little human bearer of Hope. The golden crest can't save you from darkness but it does have a tendency to calm the minds of those around it, digimon or otherwise."

Ken blinked again and shivered as ice ran through his veins at her particular choice of words. Save him from darkness? There was no saving for someone like him. He would always be engulfed by darkness, most of it his very own creation. But she might be right, it did seem to lessen somewhat whenever he was around Takeru. And the crest being the cause of it made far more sense than other things.

"Still, it would be better if you let yourself remember whatever it is you're trying to forget," she told him as she tilted her head to the side, stretching her wings restlessly as she did so.

"Let myself remember?" Ken repeated, his eyes clouding over in confusion. What did she mean by that?

"Well," Koimon started off, her tail twitching in uncertainty at what she was about to say. "Memory loss like this is pretty rare and there are only two factors for it to happen. Either you're forcing yourself to forget your past for whatever reasons there may be. Or something else is making you forget for its own protection. For the second to happen, something from the Digital World would have had to enter your body at some point in time. And that's very rare, so the former is more likely in this case."

"I don't~," Ken shook his head, refusing to believe that he would choose to forget his past. That couldn't be true. Why would he want to forget just bits and pieces instead of the recent horrors? Surely what he had done as the Kaiser was more than enough reason to forget everything that had ever happened to him in the Digital World. If he remembered the Kaiser and yet nothing before that, how much worse could it have possibly been?

What he did remember wasn't very much, just images here and there. Fighting out in some desert against a giant digimon that had looked like a cross between Chimeramon and something else. That had been Millenniumon. He could remember its name, at least. There had also been someone else with him, another boy, older than him. Who was it? No name came to mind. He couldn't even remember what the other boy's face had looked like, but he got the feeling that that person should have been and should still be important to him. But why? Why had he forgotten this boy?

That had happened before Osamu was... before the accident. He could at least remember that much. But why forget that and remember so vividly what had happened afterwards? There were other gaping holes there too. Some of them had to do with that beach. How had he gotten there and why? An image of blood dripping down onto the gray sand, a lot of dark, red blood, came to mind. It had to have been his blood, he couldn't recall anyone else being there with him, not even Wormmon. And he could vaguely remember those cuts on his forearms. Even if there weren't any scars on his arms now to show that they had existed at all, they had been real. He was certain of that.

It would stand to reason that he had been the one to cut himself. But why? It didn't make sense. The Kaiser had been born out of the despair he had felt at losing Osamu and being expected to take his brother's place in all things. But he hadn't ever wanted to kill himself because of it. He had just wanted to do whatever he wanted. And that's exactly what he had done with the Digital World, whatever he had wanted. Oh yes, whatever he had wanted. But then the other Chosen Children had come along and knocked him off that particular pedestal. He didn't want to kill himself now, not even with everything that had happened because of his own idiocy. So why would he have wanted to do so back then?

It didn't make sense.

~*~

Foreigners weren't necessarily a rare sight at the Tamachi Train Station, especially one that was heading towards the Shimbashi Station. Though certainly, a foreigner with long, white hair and Asian features, who further stood out with the garish crimson red outfit she was wearing, wasn't something the people of Tokyo saw everyday much less the Tamachi residents.

She seemed to be oblivious to the attention her presence was garnering from those around her. Though, no one could really tell if she was looking back at any of those staring at her. She wore a pair of styled sunglasses that prevented anyone else from seeing her eyes. She smiled patiently as a train pulled in and waited alongside the other patrons for those getting off to depart. She glided into the train when it was clear and settled herself gracefully in an empty seat. It wasn't until the train began to pull away that she moved again, this time glancing back out the windows at Tamachi and murmuring, "Good night, Ken." She chuckled quietly then. It was a hair raising sound, one that would have terrorized any of her neighbors had they been allowed to hear it.

She rode the rest of the way to the Shimbashi Station in utter silence, not deigning to pay attention to any of the others on the train with her. When the train arrived at the station she rose as gracefully as she had seated herself and headed off towards the train on the Yurikamome line. She waited for the next train, again seemingly oblivious to those who glanced at her curiously. When the train arrived she waited patiently to board it, just as before. Though, when the Yurikamome train pulled out of the station she said nothing.

It wasn't long until the train arrived in Odaiba, nor did it take her long to wend her way through the people milling about the station and out into the city proper. The sky was darkening already with the onset of dusk and there was a slight humidity in the air. Neither seemed to bother her as she continued to make her way through the maze of streets. She smirked as she slipped into a nondescript alley and walked its short length to the door at the back.

"Archnemon, my darling!" The instant she walked in the door a large shadow broke off from the rest of the room and latched onto her. She sighed distastefully as she was practically smothered by her rather unwelcome compatriot. "I missed you so! Every second away from you was pure torture," he whined, tears flowing nonstop from his one eye and into his midnight blue trenchcoat.

"Let go of me Mummymon," she growled, prying her fellow virus off of her and closing the door. "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't touch me!" She patted the wrinkles out of her clothes as she fumed. She just couldn't understand why the idiot wouldn't leave her alone, especially when she'd warned him off countless times before. It was baffling.

"I can't help it," he whimpered as he followed after her like a lost puppy further into the room. "I love you so. My thoughts are only of you. I can't be without you around!"

She whirled around, the sunglasses sliding down her nose to reveal a pair of ice blue eyes that glowed now with contained fury. "Listen, you idiot," she snarled, "I haven't yet figured out what it is I'm going to have to do to get it through your thick skull that I'm not interested. But when I do, I swear to you I will take great relish in beating it repeatedly into your hide." She pushed her sunglasses back up when she was finished, whirled back around and headed into the back hallway.

Mummymon grinned in delight as he watched her stalk off. "She adores me," he giggled, wrapping his hands together under his chin and slithering bonelessly to the floor.

The light dimmed from the dull glow in the front room to a darkness most humans would have difficulty seeing in as Archnemon walked slowly towards the back rooms. She came to a stop at the very end of the hallway and hesitantly knocked on the door to the right. A quiet sound of acknowledgment drifted out. She sighed and opened the door, entering a room that was only slightly more lit than the hallway thanks to the glow of a single computer screen.

"Oikawa, sir," she said by way of greeting. "I have returned."

"Ah," he grunted softly as he leaned back in the rather comfortable looking office chair he was ensconced in. He propped up his chin with his left hand and gazed at her appraisingly with slitted eyes. "See anything interesting perhaps?"

"The same as always. He has yet to return to the Digital World," she answered mechanically. She detested the human to an unnatural extent, but she was programmed to obey him, so obey him she did. What other choice was there? And when had her choices ever mattered in the scheme of things?

"I doubt he will at this point," Oikawa muttered darkly. He waved his left hand as if brushing away stray dust in the air before resting his chin back on it. "And his new little pet?"

"Did not sense my presence," Archnemon replied as she tilted her head to the side. "I was cautious to hide myself from her as you had instructed me to do. I have no wish to fight another perfect digimon at this point in time, virus or otherwise."

"Good good," Oikawa said absently as he returned his attention to the computer screen. "The boy has been quite useful for my experiments, both by unknowingly gathering data for me and implementing my programming codes onto the topography of the Digital World. Though, I would be quite interested in finding out where exactly he got his new pet since he has not returned to Digital World since the deletion of his original partner. I suppose I may have to ask him directly if you cannot ferret out the information for me."

Archnemon frowned at the obvious verbal jab. She couldn't find the information if he kept limiting her movements by his 'cautious' commands. Still, there were always other ways. "His lover could prove useful in obtaining that information," she started off carefully, "If you would allow me to approach the boy, of course."

"Ken, don't you think you're a little bit young for that sort of thing, hmm?" Oikawa chuckled at the very thought. "Then again, I suppose you're never too old or never too young to have a little fun. But no," he said as he returned his attention to Archnemon, "I don't want to alert the other children to myself or my work unless absolutely necessary. If they become suspicious in any way I may have to remove them as I have done so in the past. It isn't a very appealing means to an end and it could possibly alert the local criminal syndicates. I do not need nor do I wish to have those dogs sniffing around anymore than they already are."

"Very well," she shrugged, not really interested in getting into an argument with him about it if he didn't want to risk it. "Is there anything else?"

"No, you may go," he waved carelessly at the door as he pondered upon other things. Smirking maliciously at a particular thought, he added, "Feel free to amuse Mummymon until tomorrow morning."

She bristled at his comment, digging her fingernails into the palms of her hands, but refused to respond to it. She shut the door behind her in an almost slam as she left.

Several minutes passed in silence as Oikawa thought upon the many plans he could use to speed up the fruition of his goals for the Digital World. Most weren't very intriguing so he discarded them with ease. His present situation didn't help matters either. The many seedy deals he had struck with the criminal elements of Tokyo to get ahold of the equipment he had needed for his experimentation were making the syndicates curious. And now he was in hiding from those very same organizations. He considered it a boon that none knew about his two digital servants. And he planned to keep it that way.

Ah, it was all getting so complicated the longer he proceeded with his original plans. Perhaps it was time to cut his losses for now and leave Japan. Now that was an interesting train of thought. In fact, the only problem to that plan was the boy. Kidnapping a child over international lines was difficult at best. And Ichijouji Ken was quite familiar to the press. That would make things pretty impossible in the long run.

The boy wasn't the important thing, though. No, the true value lay within the seed resting in the back of the boy's neck. It could easily be removed. Of course, that would end up killing the boy, but it didn't seem like there was much more he could do with him. It was an interesting thought, certainly something worth considering. Yes, that was definitely appealing.

Smiling as his thoughts turned around in another direction, Oikawa murmured, "So what are you going to dream about tonight, Ken? Perhaps your dear dead brother? Or perhaps your dearly departed friends? Maybe even that annoying little partner of yours?" Reclining further back into his chair, Oikawa gazed up at the ceiling and chuckled. "Or maybe it is your own actions you dream about? Self recrimination? You certainly have proven quite amusing to watch. Here's hoping you continue to entertain me."

"After all, once you prove to be of no more use," he continued as he allowed the tension of the day to relax its way out of his muscles. "Then I'm afraid I'll just have to remove the dead weight. We wouldn't want that now would we?"

~*~

The sunlight was dim and pale from where it spilled in from the many windows high above. It glittered over the stonework, shimmering in a myriad number of grays and blues and black. Everything was damp, even the very air itself, akin to sea air but with a sense of innumerable ages held within its blanketing presence. The light, he knew, was terribly out of place in this particular structure. He also knew it was a grace afforded only to him as he couldn't see in the darkness, couldn't find his way in that comfortable blackness... yet.

The water splashing from his footsteps sounded muffled to his ears, though each step echoed far into the vaulted corridors above. There was always a layer of cold, clear water covering the mosaics of colored tiles that stretched across the floors. Their patterns were distorted through the ever moving liquid, but sometimes he could almost make out a form here and there. The tiles were broken only by the staircases that led him ever downwards. The water cascaded off of each step in never ending waterfalls. It was a cold, ancient beauty, this place. Only one thing dwelled here. The one thing that kept calling him back over and over again.

His descent always ended at the very bottom of this place, at the edge of an enormous pool of shadows so dark they seemed to suck the light into them instead of just denying it. But this time, this time it was different. Instead of a pool of shadows, he was instead met by a great expanse of black volcanic glass. Hesitantly, he stepped onto the obsidian and winced slightly at the solid echo his footsteps produced on this new surface.

The light from without dimmed as he ventured further from the edge. Instead, it was replaced by a soft, bluish glow rising from the center of the obsidian. As he drew closer, he saw that it came from a circular pool set within the black glass. He wondered why it was here, why this place was so different now, as he came to a halt at the very edge of the pool. Looking down into the glowing water, he could barely make out the shapes of what appeared to be crystals. But why were they here?

Aren't they what you came for? The feminine voice was followed by the feel of a cold, yet comfortable touch settling upon his right shoulder. This, at least, was more familiar to him.

"What do you mean?" He asked, not turning around to meet his expected companion. He knew by now what he would see if he were to do so. It was much better to be interested in the mystery that lay before him than what he knew lay behind.

A laugh echoed around him in reply. It didn't last very long though, laughter wasn't exactly something that belonged here. When it was silent again, the touch on his shoulder urged him to kneel down and followed him as he did so. Aren't humans always searching for their dreams?

His brows furrowed as he tossed this new question around in his mind, searching for the answer he knew wasn't there. "I don't understand," he answered finally. It was the only one he could give with such scant knowledge.

Of course you don't. Here, let me show you. The chill touch left his shoulder then as a slender arm of mottled shadows reached past him. Delicate fingers made of shadows darker than dark dipped within the luminescent water and grasped one of the crystals that lay below. This particular crystal shimmered with shades of icy blues as his companion drew it out into the air. These are what you came searching for. They're your dreams. Do you really want them back? Are you ready for what they'll tell you?

"I don't understand," he whispered again. He was starting to feel uneasy. This didn't make sense. And somehow, he knew he didn't want to hear the answer he was about to be given.

They're your dreams, Ken. His companion drew closer to him with these words, enveloping him in the darkness he had always thought he craved. He was starting to find that it was something he very much feared instead. Dreams are just forgotten memories. You laid your memories here to rest. And here they have remained in my care. Don't you remember? No, he couldn't remember. He couldn't remember much of anything at all right now. Dreams can't die. Memories cannot fade. Most especially yours. They await you here. You will have to take them up again someday. Someday soon, I think.

"No," he mouthed, shaking his head in denial at those words. They terrified him with the fate they promised. He scrabbled back away from the glimmering crystal, but there was nowhere to go. The darkness was everywhere. It was waiting for him.

He couldn't remember why he had forgotten what lay in wait within those horrid crystals. But he knew it was something he did not want to remember. He couldn't remember it, it would destroy him.

You can only destroy yourself, Ken. The voice sounded soothing even as it offered up that hellish crystal for him to take. And you know I won't allow that. So, what is there left to fear?

"You!" He cried out as he closed his eyes to the chill, bluish light. He denied the light as surely as he denied the cold, cold darkness. Instead he wrapped himself in warm, black shadows. The warmth was something that didn't belong there, something that would take him away from that icy place.

_____________________________________________________________________

Yes, I've finally started Darkness. Don't anyone die from the shock. I had planned for Oikawa to show up and what I wanted him to do, but I wasn't sure of what else to do with this particular story in the series. I wanted Ken to have some more realizations, but I couldn't quite nail on just what those would be. Then Ajora wrote the second part to her excellent Codewalker series, and well... Ryo's really growing on me. *cackles* Though, I'm quite sure he's not going to like what I've done to him in my series. Oh well, you can't please everybody.

I'm having trouble naming the parts to this particular story in the Kenkeru series. So, since I'm listening to the Castlevania: Symphony of the Night OST most of the time, I'll probably name the separate parts to different tracks. Like this one, for instance.