Quick and Dirty
by Meimi


Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Namco or anyone who hold rights to Tales of the Abyss. It isn't mine, I'm just playing with it.

Spoiler Warning: If you don't know the connection between Luke and Asch in the game, you might want to skip this until you do.


Crawling through ventilation ducts for hours on end was grueling at best. But the heat, by Lorelei, the heat was suffocating. Luke could easily say that it was one of the worst experiences he had ever been through. The fact that Asch was along for the ride just didn't really help much at all. In an amazingly bizarre twist, his friends had been stupid for once, while he had been smart, sort of. 'Every dog has its day,' as Asch had so eloquently put it. And in their stupidity they had gotten captured by the other God-Generals. So here he was -with Asch- crawling through the guts of some obscure facility in an attempt to rescue them. And all he had gotten out of it so far was several hours of staring at Asch's ass. Not that that was a bad thing, now that he thought about it.

"Oi," Luke grunted as he poked said ass experimentally.

"Stop that!" Asch growled back at him before scooting ahead a little bit.

Interesting. "Are we there yet?" Luke asked blandly as he scooted after his original.

"You could have stayed behind, you know," Asch gritted out through clenched teeth, his voice overflowing with pure aggravation, "I can rescue your friends just fine on my own."

"They're your friends too, you know." His only response was a disgusted snort.

They continued on for a good distance more, the heat growing ever more oppressive until even Asch had to stop for a break. The God-General eased himself down onto the overly warm metal of the duct and sighed. If he managed to make it out of this alive and with his sanity intact, it would be a miracle.

Luke lay down behind him, swinging his feet in the air lazily while he contemplated the body in front of him. Nodding to himself at last, he smiled menacingly as he climbed to his hands and knees and crawled his way up to and over Asch.

"What are you doing, you idiot?" Asch asked suspiciously as his replica's weight settled securely on him.

Luke reached down and twisted a long strand of blood red hair through his fingers. "I've been staring at your ass for the past few hours, what do you think I'm doing?"

"You can't possibly... you're not seriously-" Asch stumbled over his words, completely unable to finish a sentence because his brain was refusing to even contemplate the possibility that his moron replica would ever- And froze as a searching hand snaked under his middle. "Get off me!" he snarled, bucking desperately in an attempt to dislodge Luke, the motion only succeeded in helping his replica reach his pant's zipper.

"I don't want to get off you," Luke purred, "I do, however, want to help you get off." He snickered a second later and buried his face in Asch's hair. "Oh Score, that was bad."

Asch thunked his forehead on the thin metal below. "Get off me, please."

"Oh, you're being nice," Luke crowed, "Well, I guess I'll have to actually listen to you for once."

Asch sighed thankfully as the hand slid out from under him and the weight on his back lifted. One disaster averted. Scowling he climbed back to his hands and knees. The sooner he got this done, the sooner he could... get... away... The deceptive sound of fabric being pulled down was the only warning he got before the hand had returned, this time followed by its partner on the other side and Luke was sliding over him, pressing against him. Asch shuddered, panic easily swamping any other emotion as his replica rocked against him, leaving nothing to the imagination. His fingers working at the zipper of his pants-

"We don't have time for this. We have to rescue your friends, remember?"

A chuckle. "Our friends have waited this long, they can wait a little while longer."

"I really don't think this is the time-"

"Damnit," Luke swore as he yanked at the stubborn zipper, "You have the worst uniform ever. How do they expect you to take a leak in this damned thing?"

"With practice," Asch managed before Luke finally succeeded at working the cursed zipper and yanked his pants down to his knees. He was not bare for long. Hardened heat pressed into his backside and those Score be damned hands were reaching below. Teasing him. That bastard.

"We don't have the time to do this properly," Luke breathed, his hands never ceasing their rapid stroking. He was almost ready. Just a little more. He shifted then, withdrawing one hand for his own use.

"You... can't," Asch managed between gasps. His goddamned replica knew him and his body far to well.

"Don't worry, I came prepared," Luke said cockily, his own breath coming fast and hard. A precursor to what was to follow. Nudging Asch's legs as far apart as the pool of his pants would allow, Luke lined himself up and plunged in.

Asch couldn't help but cry out at the invasion, the quick push making his muscles spasm in protest even with the lubricant Luke had apparently brought with him easing the way. Horny little bastard. He bit his lip to keep from crying out again as Luke plastered himself over him, one hand still stroking him, the other reaching around his chest to hold him close. And then he tasted blood as Luke flexed his hips and moved deep inside him. There wasn't enough room for standard thrusts, but his replica didn't seem to mind that at all. Another flex and then another and then they were both rocking against each other. Asch sank to his elbows, biting into the thick leather of his gloves in lieu of biting a hole into his bottom lip.

"I hate," Luke grumbled into Asch's hair, "your fucking uniform." He closed his eyes and blew out a frantic breath as Asch spasmed around him. So close. "I'd rather be sucking on your neck right now than gnawing on your hair," he managed to get out in one breath, and then talking was entirely too much effort. He was almost there. Another rocking motion and a too short slide through engulfing tightness and he was gone. Releasing, spurting out and oh Score, it was the best thing ever.

When he finally managed to come back down to earth, Luke had the presence of mind to reciprocate and Asch was swiftly stroked beyond his limit. Smiling wickedly, Luke wiped his spent God-General off and withdrew. Another wipe of his very delectable ass, and then Luke yanked Asch's pants back up into place, had a little more trouble securing them again -goddamned zipper from hell- and then patted Asch gently on the back. "Okay down there?"

"I hate you," Asch muttered venomously, too worn now to really work up his temper. Later, yes, much later, he would kill his replica. Or fuck him into the ground, whichever came first.

"I love you too, darling," Luke shot back cheekily as he ran a hand up Asch's spine, grinning smugly at the shivers his motion produced. "I'd let you nap, but we still have to rescue our friends."

Sighing in an acute put upon manner, Asch wearily climbed back up onto his hands and knees and resumed their long, godforsaken crawl through Van's thoroughly stupid and pointless facility. "Next time, you're going first."

"Wouldn't have it any other way," Luke chimed up as he dutifully followed after his original.