A Minor Confession
by Meimi

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Standard disclaimers apply.

INSANITY WARNING: Please note that this fics has some rather disturbing elements (casual murder ect.). It also has a somewhat underlying shonen ai theme. If this disturbs you in anyway... or if you have no idea what shonen ai is, PLEASE do not read any further. Otherwise, enjoy! ^_^

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Hi, I'm Yuusuke, Urameshi Yuusuke. Maybe you've heard of me... then again, maybe not...

I guess you're wondering why I'm here.

I killed a man a week ago. I'm not sorry about it at all either.

He wasn't like any of the others I've been forced into killing because of the job. He was human... normal... nothin special about him at all... just a guy really...

I see I've confused you... let's start at the very beginning then...

I guess you could say that I've always been something of a juvenile delinquent. Hell, it's what Keiko is always callin me, so it's gotta be true. In fact, I probably would've gone through life being a trouble maker and ended up just being another nobody.

I'll admit it, when it comes to personality and intelligence... I fall real short of spectacular. Of course, I'll never admit it to anybody... I do have a tough guy image to maintain.

Anyway, where was I...

Oh yeah, all that changed when I went and got myself killed the first time. I guess goin and gettin myself hit by a car just to save that kid was pretty stupid on my part... but I couldn't just let it happen... ya know?

So, next thing I know I'm floating... yeah, that's right... *floating* over my body and not quite sure what to make of it all. That was when Botan showed up. She really freaked me out, though I hid it well. You don't really expect a representative of death to be this damn genki girl with blue-hair ridin on a freakin oar of all things. She can't fly worth shit either... but you didn't hear that from me. She's a great friend though... and she really cares...

Well, after getting my first of *many* hair-raising experiences on that damned oar, I met Koenma for the first time. I can't say that I was impressed. He is an awfully cute harmless lookin baby after all. You don't really expect someone who looks like that to be able to terrorize the entire Reikai, but he manages. Yes, I will say this once... Koenma can be damn impressive when he wants to be.

Anyway, thanks to my little heroic deed and few other niggling details, I got a second chance at life. Only problem is I have to work for Koenma now as a Spirit Detective. Joy. Oh, don't get me wrong, we're nothing near being sleuths. We just beat up the bad guys is all. Simple don'tcha think?

Things went by pretty quick after that... finally becoming friends with Kuwabara and getting Genkai to take me on as a student. She can be such a stubborn old hag when she feels like it. She's cool though.

It all sorta kinda pales in comparison to my first meeting with Kurama, and then Hiei. Looking back at it now, I *know* that's when it started... but I was too much of idiot to really see it.

Have I told you about Kurama? ...No?

Kurama is the most beautiful person I have ever met. It isn't just that though, he's really a nice guy... even with the youko side of him. *He* really cares... sometimes I think he cares too much. I think it's the way he shows us that we matter... those little things he does... that drives so many of us to actively protect him... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

When I first met Kurama I was prepared for a fight. Imagine my surprise when he doesn't want anything of the sort. He just wanted to save his mother's life. How could I possibly tell him no? I couldn't let him kill himself doing it though... that's why I did what I did.

It was shortly after that, when I fought against Hiei to save Keiko, that I faced losing him for the first time and realized just how empty life would be without him. Have you ever felt the sensation of your heart stopping and your blood running ice cold in utter shock and terror? That's what I felt like when I saw that damn sword sticking out of his back.

I can still see it. Hell, I can see every little detail of every single time I thought he was gone for good. They're branded in my memories. I can't get rid of them...

I can see them so well... the blood dripping of that damned sword from where Hiei had just so negligently run through his purported 'partner'. Looking back, Hiei was probably just as shocked as I was at what had just happened.

The Ankoku Bujutsukai was just as bad, if not worse. When he fell, bleeding from so many blast wounds... I wanted to scream bloody hell at all the worlds. He was so pale and so limp... Thank god he's still with us.

It was after the tournament that I started watching him more closely, started paying more attention to the little details. Kurama has an awfully distressing suicidal streak. It's like he wants to get hurt... like he wants to see just how much pain his body can take. It sure seems that way.

My second death though, was what started the little protective streak I've got going for him now. I can't really explain 'why' things changed, they just did. Maybe it's because I have more than enough power now to face anyone down... or maybe it's because now I know I'll live long enough to keep an eye on him... both as Shuuichi and Kurama.

I still wish I'd killed Yomi though... I might still... especially if he tries to play with Kurama like that again.

I really started doing it after we came back from that final tournament... keeping an eye on him... not where he could see me of course. That would offend him, and I certainly don't want to do that.

I was kinda worried about what Keiko would think. I really *do* love her... it's just different about Kurama. I didn't have to worry about it for long though, she caught me at it. I thought I was dead meat for sure... until she said I needed to do a better job of it... she knew I'd been watching Kurama... she'd been doing it too.

It turns out I'm not the only one who's 'completely devoted' to Kurama... her words, not mine. She was so happy to find out that I'm on the job of protecting him too... and so relieved that she wouldn't have to explain how she felt about Kurama to me. *heh* I wasn't the only one worried about what my significant other might think...

I started getting more active about it a few weeks ago when I saw this guy following Kurama around so much.

Yeah... a stalker... pure sleaze...

All the worlds are full of these jerks it seems... the jerks who are attracted to the brightest light like the rest of us... yet want to either destroy it or possess it completely. Yeah, I know, I'm getting poetic.

I tried to warn him... threaten him away. He just didn't seem to be able to get it though.

It was a week ago to the day... really nice day too...

Yeah, a week ago when that creep pulled a knife on me and started ranting and raving about just what he had in mind for Kurama. I had to kill him for that. He crossed the line... and I gave him what he deserved.

I wasn't worried about the murder... if that's what you want to call it... it was getting rid of the body that was a bother. That's when Botan showed up... sorta shocked us both. She blinked at me owlishly for about a minute or so then thanked me profusely for going ahead and doing her work for her.

Oh yes, I am by far Kurama's only protector. Hiei, Genkai, Koenma and thus the entire Reikai stuff... even Yukina, are all working behind the scenes it turns out. I was mystified that there were so many... but I catch on quick. Botan helped me get the body to Genkai's temple and the old woman took care of it.

That's when I found out about Yukina's involvement. She and Hiei seem to have a pattern going, she looks after Kurama when Mukuro calls Hiei back to the Makai and rests up when he comes back to the Ningenkai. Sweet little Yukina even froze one of the bastards clear through. She kept it around as a trophy until Hiei came back, then she got him to take it to the Makai so Genkai wouldn't get into trouble for it. She told me that Hiei keeps it somewhere around Mukuro's pad... I'll have to see it next time I'm there.

I also found out the others' involvement that night. Genkai keeps an eye out for any demons that pass into the Ningenkai who might be hunting for Youko Kurama. She reassured me that those are easily dealt with... I'm not sure how though... She also takes care of any bodies the others might end up bringing her.

Botan is pretty much the clean-up girl, but whenever Hiei and Yukina are out of the picture she's sent to 'take care of things'. Though Koenma, it seems is looking ahead... he's got protectors keeping a lookout for Shiori as well. I think he's afraid that if something happens to Shiori we'll lose Kurama...

He's probably right.

When it all comes down to it... Shiori is the only thing nailing Kurama's tail to the Ningenkai... once she's gone... so is he...

I don't want to think about it. I can't even imagine what'll happen when my friend and more... is gone... how empty my world will be without having such a good guy around... a person who truly brightens up that world. It's... frightening...

Keiko doesn't seem worried about it though... she even mentions moving to the Makai someday... after all, that's probably where he'll go...

Yeah... I'm obsessed. We all are... it's a good thing to obsess over though...

Oh, don't let my rambling give you a bad picture of Kurama... he can more than take care of himself... he is A-Class after all. I do not doubt that one day he'll reach S-Class... he more than has it in him. But he shouldn't have to... and we'll make sure he *doesn't* have to.

Anyway... thanks for listening to me... have a nice day.